22 is a weird age. Almost like being 19. You’re not 21, but you’re also not 18. 

Going into it I really had no idea what to expect, but I should have known it would be a doozy since it started with me moving 1000 miles up the East coast.

3 or so weeks before my 22nd birthday I decided to leave Florida and move back to New Jersey…crazy, I know. But sometimes I am spontaneous like that. It takes me forever to make a decision, but once I do, it’s a wrap. 

I got on the plane with my one way ticket and never looked back.  

The first few months of being 22 were great, I was seeing friends I hadn’t seen in a while, going out, got a job I loved, definitely drank too much (yikes). I was catching up for all the lost time while I was away. 

Then the shit-storm that is 2020 happened. Although things had started going left for me way before quarantine. I went through a culmination of heartache, anxiety, depression, etc. that resulted in some pretty dark and f**ked up times. Basically, you name it, and I was going through it.

During those months and much into quarantine I really shut myself off. I totally withdrew from my friends and family and it was just me in my grandparents basement with my thoughts. Terrifying, right? For sure. But I learned more about myself in those months of solitude than I ever have.

I had so much I wanted to give to those around me. Conversations that I wanted to have, thought and feelings I needed to share. Knowing that I was probably pushing people out of my life by being do distant made it even harder. But I kept all of that energy for myself instead.

Now in a way it feels like I’m playing catch up again for all the time I missed, except I feel 100x better about this time around. I have brand new perspectives and ways of thinking that help me navigate life and my relationships better than I ever have before. And I’m only getting started. 

So if I had to call my 22nd year anything, it’d be transformative. Which makes sense with 22 being a master number and all (we love numerology on this blog, okay!).

Almost transformative to the point that who I am now as I type this is unrecognizable to who I was back then. But all of the best parts of me are still here. 

For 23 I am vowing to go easier on myself. Take breaks when I need to. Release some of the undo pressure. I really just want to live. I know now I can have it all without having it all together.

For 23 I am doing nothing without intention and everything that makes me happy. My intuition will never lead me astray, in fact it has brought me back to myself every damn time. 

As one of my greatest friends always tells me, I can’t lose. 

With new wisdom I fly, with new wisdom I fly to a new beginning. 

Xo, 

Girl About Town.