GIRL ABOUT TOWN

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: HYPER INDEPENDENCE.

January 20, 20211 Comment

Socialites, let’s talk about hyper independence. Yes, we are getting deep again, so buckle in.

I have a question, I promise it will make sense in a second.

What would you say is more detrimental? To grow up with a parent who is physically absent? Or one who is mentally absent, but physically present? My guess is that it would depend on who you ask.

Fortunately, or I guess unfortunately? for me, I’ve experienced both. And because of this, I learned to be hyper independent from a young age.

My hyper independence has made it feel like it was “just me” for as long as I can remember. And this isn’t for lack of having friends or family around me my entire life. I guess you can say I’ve been really lucky in that way, luckier than many people may have been. But life is funny in the way that you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.

I was 10 years old holding back my feelings in an effort to not bother my mom after she had a long day at work. I was 10 years old never feeling like I was justified in being upset for growing up without a father — because I always thought it would just be a “okay…join the club” conversation. So I grew up coddling and comforting myself, and got damn good at it.

It’s always the traumas that are so customary to you that you don’t realize affect you the most, until you eventually, hopefully, are made to address them. And I’m grateful for having found therapy as it has allowed me to connect the dots of my childhood and see how they are now adding up in my life as an adult.

For me, now, my hyper independence manifests in a few different ways. A refusal to ask for help(also being afraid to), constantly thinking I’m a burden, working myself to the point of burn out and exhaustion, blah blah blah.

Albeit a trauma response, my hyper independence, in some ways, has served me well. I am self sufficient and resourceful, and have no issue spending time alone, in fact, I actually require it. The way I see it, if no one were to ever look out for me again, I would know how to look out for, and take care of myself. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

But as I’m now realizing hyper independence can make your life harder in ways that it does not need to be.

It has been a slow process, but I’ve began allowing people to help me, especially when it comes to my creative projects. Sure I could struggle and do it all myself, but for what? When a friend snapping pictures for me, or listening as I run a few ideas by them, can make my plate even just 1% lighter.

I know a lot of us may be conditioned to having do things all on our own. And it can feel very comfortable in that space of “Its just me, I’m all I’ve ever had”. And quite frankly it’s scary to let another person in when you are so used to chugging along on your own. But it’s never a sign of weakness or a burden on people who are able and willing to help you. So let them.

Xo,

Girl About Town

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: GROWING UP BLACK IN SUBURBIA.

December 18, 2020December 18, 2020Leave a Comment

“You like Green Day don’t you? that’s weird! hahaha!” I remember standing there at 8 years old fighting back tears and defending myself “No I don’t! I’ve never even listened to them!”

That’s one of my earliest memories of feeling like something was wrong with me, that there was something wrong with the way I was. And subconsciously as I got older, I think small, but significant, instances like this jaded me. I started to feel like I couldn’t be my true, genuine self around black people. That I couldn’t have different interests or even like different music out of fear of not fitting in and being made fun of.

Growing up black in white suburbia is a unique experience. My mom believed that sending me through predominately white Catholic schools was the best decision for my educational and personal development. And it was, I am who I am today because of her decision and I’m grateful. But as we know, hindsight is very much 2020. I honestly believe my experience of being one of few black children in white spaces for all of my childhood and adolescence managed to give me self esteem issues but also a superiority complex. Its some really confusing shi*t, I know. Let me explain.

I alllllllmost want to say I grew up living a double life in a way. I would go to school and be one of a few black students in the entire building and then go to my babysitters house who watched only black kids and we would sing our hearts out to Foolish by Ashanti and watch Love & Basketball. But as I started to get older I could tell things started to get a little different with my friends from daycare. They’d make comments I didn’t really catch on to about how I talked, or the things I was interested in. And I never really paid attention to how much it effected me but I think it started to make me feel like I had to prove myself. So I would lie about my interests or things I was doing so that I didn’t seem too “white”.

On the other hand being around my white friends in and out of school was a complete opposite experience…up until a point (more on that later). But mostly I never felt like I had to prove myself to fit in. I felt most like “one of them” around white people even being the only black friend. We would listen to our favorite alternative rock bands and I was definitely attempting to scrunch my black ass 4B ass hair. My mom of course had the whole “your white friends can do sh*t you can’t do” talk with me, so that always kept me hyper aware of my blackness when my friends would be attempting to steal from department stores. That and when we would be reading books as a class that had the N word in them and the tension in the room would be so thick my body would get hot.

Eventually between being the only black friend and the negative, ignorant things I would hear and see portrayed in the media and otherwise (see: Tyler Perry movies) I started to develop an aversion to my blackness. I didn’t necessarily hate being black, but I DEFINITELY didn’t not want to be seen as one of *those* black people. I wanted to always have every one of my (heat damaged from getting it straightened every 2 weeks) hair’s in place. I never had a realization that I wanted to be like my white friends but I did know that I never wanted to be seen as *too* black by them. I went so long assimilating and protecting my proximity to whiteness even at the expense of racist jokes and disgusting comments I’d rather forget. The worst is probably when I wanted my friends to know so badly that I had (super extremely distant) white ancestry I dug up my moms family tree records in 7th grade. I dug up my damn family tree!!!!!! Insane! But the accumulation of all of these things are what I mean by I managed to have severe self esteem issues surrounding my blackness but also managed to feel elitist when it came to other black people who went to certain schools, lived in certain neighborhoods, etc. I subconsciously prioritized my proximity to whiteness over “fitting in” or relating to other black people. I remember even feeling weird during big family gatherings. I assumed people met me and heard how I talked and immediately probably thought I was a certain way. Which is partly true because of all the “you talk white” and “you’re and Oreo” comments I’d heard my entire life (which would irritate the hell out of me, but I also took as a compliment, again, confusing, I know) But I was also projecting my insecurities hard AF.

Once high school started I started to develop a different set of insecurities, yay me! When all of my friends in middle school were getting their first little boyfriends was I a little pressed? Sure. But I knew none of the white boys I had crushes on would ever think twice about dating me. So when I got to high school and there was a slightly higher (heavy on the slight) percentage of black students I was like oh cool, maybe I’ll actually have a shot of finding myself a little boo or whatever. Except no, I was privileged to be seen as undesirable by both the black and white boys at my school!!!! But seriously, I feel like this is something that is rarely talked about but many young black women growing up in predominately white areas experience. Its like the white guys damn sure don’t want us and we have to WAIT for the black guys to go through phases until they *maybe* do.

Feeling undesired and unprotected from the black men I grew up around is a trauma that has run deep for me for many years. I won’t say it’s the sole reason I was convinced I was unattractive for all of my years of high school but it was definitely a major, painful factor.

In the midst of dealing with my own issues surrounding my identity and blackness I still managed to hang on to a considerable amount of ignorances that stuck with me since grade school. I look back and know how ignorant my thought processes were but I give myself grace because I know my younger self was just trying to make it in my environment with an ounce of my peace in tact.

I remember when it came time for me to find roommates to live with in college I made it a point to find girls who weren’t black. I told myself it was because I wanted to be “diverse” but my decision was absolutely rooted in anti blackness. Subconsciously thinking that if I roomed with black girls they might be “ghetto” or not like me because I acted too “white”. I was convinced by this point that I just got along better with people who weren’t black because I didn’t have to worry about them maybe thinking I was putting on or pretending.

Once I got to college everything changed. I was so fortunate to immediately meet a group of girlfriends who grew up similarly to me with similar experiences. I was able to find immense comfort in sharing our stories and having extensive, eye-opening conversation surrounding our experiences as black women. In short, that’s when I finally came to my damn senses.

For the most part my struggles with identity and finding myself as a young black girl were an internal struggle. Not something I ever talked about but instead silently dealt with until I was forced to either confront or ignore something that was happening in my outward reality. I used to think my ability to navigate both spaces by being the black girl who wasn’t *too* black gave me some sort of competitive edge. But there is no such thing as “too black” and there ought not to be any rewards for being able to assimilate to whiteness. Although that societal structure does very much still exist.

As a now young black woman, all black spaces are my greatest source of comfort. It’s like that silent head nod or wave you give to another black person you see in the grocery store or when you enter a new classroom and the first thing you do is scan the room for any faces that may look like yours. Except instead of it being one or two (if you’re lucky), it’s everyone. And it feels like home.

As black people we go through many experiences that are fundamentally the same. And many that are different depending on a number of variables. I know that every black person reading this may not be able to relate to how I grew up or any of the struggles I dealt with surrounding my blackness. After all, the journey to loving and finding yourself looks different for everyone. But l wish for everyone to find someone, a group of people maybe, to help them get there. I’m so grateful I did and not ashamed to say I once struggled. There is immense value in black community. For centuries all we have had is each other. Our own protectors and providers.

My blackness is my greatest and most powerful gift.

Xo,

Girl About Town.

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: LETTING GO.

November 12, 2020Leave a Comment

All things come into our lives for one of a few reasons. And I like to think of them all as cycles.

One cycle may be for you to learn. Another may be for you to take what you learned and teach it to others. And another may be a repeat or continuation of a cycle you already learned but didn’t apply/chose to ignore🥴 (I’ve been there).

These various cycles in our lives bring with them many different things, people and experiences. And sometimes if what we are experiencing in this cycle is better or in some way different from the last we have a tendency to hold on. As if it could never get better than this feeling, this moment or person we are holding on so tightly to.

The danger in this is that by holding on so tightly, our hands are no longer free to grasp on to the potentially amazing things that are also trying to make their way towards us.

I know manifestation is a huge buzzword these days. And as a vital part of the manifestation process, you first have to believe you are good enough for whatever it is you are asking for or attracting. Then you must simply let it go and live your life. By letting it go after you’ve essentially “placed your request” with the universe, your mind, heart and body are fully open and ready to receive.

So the same logic applies whilst we are going though various life cycles. Do not make the mistake of holding on to something too tightly out of fear. This has the potential to not only make you miss out on greater opportunities that may come your way, whether they be in your career, romantic relationships etc. But it can also make you blind to red flags within whatever situation you may be in.

There is power in letting go. Allow things to come in and out of your life with ease. Whatever may make it’s way out is only making way for everything that’s better.

Surrender to the flow, and watch as it flows.

Xo,

Girl About Town.

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: BEING 22.

October 19, 2020November 12, 2020Leave a Comment

22 is a weird age. Almost like being 19. You’re not 21, but you’re also not 18.

Going into it I really had no idea what to expect, but I should have known it would be a doozy since it started with me moving 1000 miles up the East coast.

3 or so weeks before my 22nd birthday I decided to leave Florida and move back to New Jersey…crazy, I know. But sometimes I am spontaneous like that. It takes me forever to make a decision, but once I do, it’s a wrap.

I got on the plane with my one way ticket and never looked back.

The first few months of being 22 were great, I was seeing friends I hadn’t seen in a while, going out, got a job I loved, definitely drank too much (yikes). I was catching up for all the lost time while I was away.

Then the shit-storm that is 2020 happened. Although things had started going left for me way before quarantine. I went through a culmination of heartache, anxiety, depression, etc. that resulted in some pretty dark and f**ked up times. Basically, you name it, and I was going through it.

During those months and much into quarantine I really shut myself off. I totally withdrew from my friends and family and it was just me in my grandparents basement with my thoughts. Terrifying, right? For sure. But I learned more about myself in those months of solitude than I ever have.

I had so much I wanted to give to those around me. Conversations that I wanted to have, thought and feelings I needed to share. Knowing that I was probably pushing people out of my life by being do distant made it even harder. But I kept all of that energy for myself instead.

Now in a way it feels like I’m playing catch up again for all the time I missed, except I feel 100x better about this time around. I have brand new perspectives and ways of thinking that help me navigate life and my relationships better than I ever have before. And I’m only getting started.

So if I had to call my 22nd year anything, it’d be transformative. Which makes sense with 22 being a master number and all (we love numerology on this blog, okay!).

Almost transformative to the point that who I am now as I type this is unrecognizable to who I was back then. But all of the best parts of me are still here.

For 23 I am vowing to go easier on myself. Take breaks when I need to. Release some of the undo pressure. I really just want to live. I know now I can have it all without having it all together.

For 23 I am doing nothing without intention and everything that makes me happy. My intuition will never lead me astray, in fact it has brought me back to myself every damn time.

As one of my greatest friends always tells me, I can’t lose.

With new wisdom I fly, with new wisdom I fly to a new beginning.

Xo,

Girl About Town.

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: GHOSTING.

October 2, 2020December 18, 2020Leave a Comment

Not one conversation goes by with my mom where she isn’t asking me if I’m in a relationship. While this might be annoying to some people, I honestly understand her curiosity and maybe even confusion.

She came of age in a time where it seems like relationships got real serious real fast. I think it is hard for people who are not teens and 20 somethings during today’s times to understand just how much things have changed when it comes to the dating scene. I remember having a conversation with my aunt about a year ago about this. She told me back when she was my age you dated someone in your inner circle. Maybe someone from church, a person you met at your first job, a childhood friend. There were no dating apps and websites, it was all very nuclear. Being able to get on apps and websites has essentially widened our dating pools so much that we are able to connect with people on different continents, much less our neighborhood. Goneeeee are the days of dating the boy who lived in the house next to you, as seen in literally every 90’s movie.

While my aunt and I were having this talk it brought up perhaps the biggest killer of modern day dating, in my opinion. Ghosting. I know I don’t have to explain what ghosting is but I’m going to do it anyway. Essentially it is when you are talking to and or dating someone and then…you’re not. Either you or they disappear never to be heard from again. (sometimes they come back but that’s a whole different conversation) I happen to believe that there is a lot of nuance that goes into ghosting. The “severity” of the relationship, the length of time that it was going on, etc. I wouldn’t necessarily consider not replying to the rando you met on Tinder a week ago and never met in person, ghosting. But after a couple months and a few dates and you or they just fall off the face of the earth for no apparent reason? For sure. (I don’t want to get too caught up in lengths of time and such as every situation and perspective is different)

I am no stranger to ghosting or being ghosted. Once I started really dating as a young adult it was something that had become so customary to me that I almost expected it to happen with every new person that I met. As I said before, gone are the days of falling in love with your childhood friend for most people. People are online now more than ever, and that is where we are meeting each other. We’ve adjusted to this new, and almost only way a lot of us have ever known. Were the people I met through various apps the BEST the universe had to offer? Hell no and that’s why I ain’t with em! But I did have to learn many long and painful lessons about self worth and self love through the repeated processes of being emotionally and physically vulnerable with people who one day woke up and decided not only was I not for them anymore but that they also did not owe me an explanation why. As someone who is already naturally closed off when it comes to emotions, people essentially leaving me out in the cold after I thought I could trust them did damage to my trust and self esteem that I wasn’t sure I would come back from.

One of the worser(??) times I’d been ghosted was shortly after I moved to Florida as a bright-eyed and naive nineteen year old. Up until that point I’d only had lackluster experiences with relationships that left much to be desired. And since I was essentially all alone in this brand new city knowing only my two family members, what did I do? Download Tinder of course!!!!!!! I ended up matching with this boy we can call…Gabe LOL. From the beginning the chemistry was like nothing I ever experienced. We went on dates, stayed up talking all night. Conversation flowed with no effort from either of us as if we were past-life lovers. who reconnected. *throws up*

I went back home to Philadelphia for my 20th birthday and told my friends all about him, sure that I was on the brink of my first serious relationship. I got back a week later and a week after that I never heard from him again. I asked myself a million questions. Was it me? Something I did? Said? How I looked? My self esteem plummeted and to keep my mind off of having no closure I worked TWO retail jobs..DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON. Do you know how sad I must have been to do some shit like that? Anyone who has ever worked retail during holiday will know exactly what I’m talking about! And you might be reading this and thinking “okay but it could not have been that deep…” but for 2017 Ashleigh who had self love the size of a pebble and abandonment issues the size of a mountain, it was.

I had essentially placed all of my self worth and self love in the hands of this person and when he vanished so did those things. That experience taught me four very valuable lessons that I may or may not have had to learn two or three or five more times… One is it’s almost never about you and almost always some healing needed to be done on their end. Two is that sometimes people just suck, and there is no explanation for it. Three is that if you start romanticizing someone or their potential instead of who they ACTUALLY are, you will lose every time. Four, perhaps the most important, is that you CANNOT let your love for yourself be dependent upon whoever you are romantically involved with.

So socialites, contrary to popular belief, I’m not a perfect person. Shocking, I know. But I’ve done my fair share of ghosting as well. No excuses, but I really do think the situations where I’ve been the ghost-er were just a culmination of unresolved emotion and hurts that I buried and convinced myself I was over. I would get just close enough to people to where if I left without an explanation it would hurt them. I knew this, and I still did it every time. Because deep down I did want the relationship, but there was always something in the back of my mind telling me to leave them first before I was inevitably left. A straight up trauma response.

Once I started to recognize this pattern of getting jussssst close enough to people and then vanishing into thin air, I knew I needed to heal. I couldn’t go on hurting people because I was hurt.

It has taken a lot of self reflection, tears, and anger to get to the point that I am at now, and honestly if I had to quantify it I’d say I’m only about 40% there. My biggest revelation in my journey thus far has been realizing that, for me, a lot of my romantic relationships have been mirrors. Their actions and issues and how they communicated illuminated right back to me all of areas in my life that needed the work. And that isn’t to excuse them, but in a weird way I’ve been able to make sense of it. But also all of my issues regarding self worth and the like haven’t only stemmed from the losers who hurt me, I ain’t giving them THAT much credit. But it definitely played a part in exacerbating pre existing conditions LOL.

As I continue to focus on healing, my discernment has improved ten fold. I recognize red flags faster and won’t entertain someone out of sheer boredom and loneliness. And like I said before, many relationships for me are mirrors. So if I am actively working on myself, who and what I am attracting will match. Energy is reciprocal.

Our dating culture right now is f*cked, really no pretty way to say it. There is also no amount of personal healing that can be done to ensure that the person you’re dating wont just up and leave with zero explanation. Unfortunately thats just a risk we all take. But what I am telling you is that it doesn’t have to kill you. And it won’t. Will it hurt? Probably. And let it for as long as needed. Then remove yourself from the equation. Go to therapy if you have to. Talk to your friends because if we being real they’ve probably been through something similar. *shakes head in disapproval*. Take the time and energy from worrying about the situation and pour it inward because you can’t control other peoples actions., but you can always bet on yourself.

Xo,

Girl About Town

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: MY UNCONVENTIONAL COLLEGE JOURNEY.

September 10, 2020October 19, 20202 Comments

I want to preface this post by saying you always end up right where you’re supposed to be. It might take you literally 5 years, like it has in my case, but you will get there.

At 16 I had a very ignorant and misinformed opinion surrounding undergraduate education. I thought that community college was for idiots and associate degrees were useless. When I was searching for universities my senior year I really only had one requirement, major city. My plan was always to go to FIT in New York, but after learning that most of their undergraduate programs start off as 2 year degrees, I was over it. And aside from that I had also managed to talk myself out of pursuing a fashion related major. I thought that if I had a Fashion Merchandising degree I’d end up as a manager of some failing department store.

So, after placing all of these crazy limitations on myself, I applied to 3, yes only three (literally, I cant…) schools. Got my acceptances, picked the best (worst) option, and I was out.

The fall semester of my freshman year of college was quite literally the most fun I’ve ever had. I hate to be one of those “cant let college go” people but seriously, you was either there or you wasn’t. And on top of it I was freshly 18? Running the streets of Philadelphia? forget about ittttttt.

But all the fun and friends and bottom shelf liquor came to a halt once spring semester came. I had been having issues with my financial aid that I just assumed would just get resolved because, why wouldn’t they? But they didn’t, and the university essentially told me that I didn’t have to go home, but I had to get the hell out of there! So there I was, 18, one and a half semesters of college under my belt with nothing to show for it, other than the now 20+ thousand dollar debt I owed.

I want to pause a little to talk about the resentment and frustration that I have dealt with years later surrounding this time in my life. When I would look back I’d think how could I be so stupid? Why would I let myself make such poor financial decisions? But I also genuinely wish I would have had a little more guidance. My family was happy and supportive of me for the most part, and that was great. But I wish there had been someone to tell me to consider all of my options, especially since they all had been through the process before. What the hell does a 16 year old know about student loan debt? It all seems like fake money until you’re staring at the bill in your hands and it’s got your name on it.

After the whirlwind of chaos that was my first university experience, I did a little bit of everything. I worked, stayed in Philly, got an apartment, took a class or two. But looking back on it, I was lost. And I was worried the door for me to get an education would be closed forever. I was around my friends who were still enrolled at their 4-year universities and it felt like I was losing time I couldn’t get back. So, what do I do? I moved to Florida. I had the intentions of enrolling full time in a university in Jacksonville and well… that didn’t work out either. So I took a couple classes at a community college that I hated and next thing I knew I had been in Florida for 2. whole. years. Talk about time you can’t get back? But I am grateful as my time spent there made me resourceful and independent.

At the end of last year I decided to move back north. I had no plans or expectations other than to get a job and work as i’d been doing. My higher education journey had been so unfulfilling and disappointing that I was honestly wondering if college would ever happen for me. And if didn’t, what a future without a degree might look like.

Fast forward to Quarantine™. I had watched as much Netflix as humanly possible, and out of boredom I started to browse the website for my local community college. I remembered my grandmother had told me in passing to check it out months prior, but I brushed it off because again I was like “there’s no way they have a Fashion Merchandising program” but alas….they did and its turns out I’m just annoying. *sigh*

I spent a couple days filling out the enrollment and financial aid applications, but I have to admit I’d really become jaded at this point. After so many let downs you come to just expect things to not work out. Who could blame me? But after putting in my paperwork and checking on it every 3 seconds, not only was it approved but I was granted enough money to cover both semesters free. Nothing out of pocket, no predatory loan I have to pay back, free .99.

After being out of the game so long I naturally have had my doubts about doing well, but overall the past few weeks have been surreal. From picking up my fashion textbooks at the school bookstore, ordering supplies for projects, being in classes with other like-minded people. I can finally say after almost 6 years I am a Fashion Merchandising student! A true wish fulfillment.

Now while this is definitely a testament to not giving up, its also a testament to following your passions. Part of me almost thinks that I encountered so many obstacles because I wasn’t doing what I know I really wanted to do. I was settling and forcing myself into spaces I know I didn’t fit. But if I have learned anything through this journey it is that we are given a few good years on this ball of gas we call Earth. There is no time for settling or being rational with our ambitions. And while having to try so many times is discouraging as hell, each “failed” attempt, more often than not, is just a re-direction to land you exactly where you are meant to be. What is for you, will never miss you.

I hope this pushes you forward.

Xo,

Girl About Town

GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON:THE ORIGIN STORY(WHY I’M STARTING A BLOG).

August 27, 2020October 3, 20202 Comments

Like any other 12 year old girl in 2009 I was obsessed with youtube. I would watch endless makeup hauls, ootd’s, hair and nail tutorials, you name it. Those were the days when the girls were realllllly doing it okay!?!? But anyway, while watching a video i’ve long since forgotten, the beauty guru hauled a mac lipstick in shade “Girl About Town”. Now, I thought the shade was hideous, and still do, BUT the name stuck with me. Even back then I felt like it encompassed everything I was and ever hoped to be. A girl who is free to be who she is, the social butterfly, the traveler, the philosopher, the spiritualist, the writer, the stylist, the list goes on and on (word to Erykah Badu). To me, nothing could define the Girl About Town.

I have been captivated by all thing beauty, luxury, and lifestyle for as long as I can remember. So many of my days after school were spent watching Style Network, America’s Next Top Model, What Not to Wear, Life in the Fab Lane, How do I Look… to name a few. And don’t even get me started on shows like Simple Life, KWTK, and Girls Next Door that i’d sneak and watch without my mom’s permission when I DEFINITELY should have been sleeping. On my car rides to school I would read “Glamour” and “Cosmo”, always immediately flipping to the back for the Hot or Not and Who Wore it Best columns so I could make note of the styles and pairings I liked or would have done differently.

I wanted to be just like the women I saw. The socialites, the “It Girl’s” who bumped shoulders with all of the whose who’s and were always in the know about what’s what. Their lives seemed so glamorous, and even at 9 years old I saw myself like them, sipping a stiff cocktail with the latest and greatest bag on my arm at some posh swanky hotel (this sounds dramatic but my imagination has always been A1). But there was always one thing that was glaringly obvious. Even after surrounding and immersing myself in as much beauty and fashion as I could get my hands on at my age, the faces were always unrecognizable. And i’m not talking about me not knowing who they were, because believe me I did. I mean that they didn’t look like anyone I knew. But I think that is part of the allure of being a socialite, the exclusivity. The table you’re invited to that no one else can sit at, unless they’re cool or rich enough.

I’m currently at a point in my life where I’ve had to undo, redefine, and unlearn more things and thought processes than I can count. Which in turn has also led me back to my true passions and interests, but seeing and experiencing them now from the perspective of an almost 23 year old. As I’ve grown the allure that surrounded what being a socialite meant and represented faded. I realized a lot of those people were more than likely empty and unfulfilled, and while there’s nothing wrong with that(I mean, there definitely is…but anyway), there is everything wrong with facades. The realization that I never wanted to have everything if it meant that I couldn’t be who I really am is what led me to want to create a new era of modern day socialites.

The modern day socialite is still a vibrant lover of life in all forms. We are not afraid to be seen or heard, mix and mingle, and would be damned if we didn’t look good doing it. The modern day socialites say f**k you to that exclusive table no one can sit at, and instead of trying to be invited to it, we create our own. The modern day socialites are setting the trend for living a luxurious AND authentic lifestyle that is true to whatever luxury and authenticity may look like for them. No facades, no fronts, no bullshit.

The modern day socialite is whoever they want to be, but most importantly they are themselves.
Ashleigh Walden

I’ve longed for a creative outlet where I am able to be exactly who I pictured myself being as that 9 year old girl reading fashion columns. It took me a while to finally bring this to life for many reasons. Fear of the unknown, not being interesting enough, not sure where I’d fit in or find a niche. But I had to let all that go, honey! The Girl About Town can’t be defined, remember?

In many ways, GIRL ABOUT TOWN is serving as a journey back to myself. And I am so grateful.

On this blog I want to share my love for the arts, I want to sip virtual martinis with The Socialites™ while I discuss hard topics, share hilarious stories, and provide a space for people to unwind and relate. So, let’s raise a glass for all of the fun to be had, stories to be told, and wisdom & knowledge to be shared. You ready?