GIRL ABOUT TOWN ON: MY UNCONVENTIONAL COLLEGE JOURNEY.

I want to preface this post by saying you always end up right where you’re supposed to be. It might take you literally 5 years, like it has in my case, but you will get there. 

At 16 I had a very ignorant and misinformed opinion surrounding undergraduate education. I thought that community college was for idiots and associate degrees were useless. When I was searching for universities my senior year I really only had one requirement, major city. My plan was always to go to FIT in New York, but after learning that most of their undergraduate programs start off as 2 year degrees, I was over it. And aside from that I had also managed to talk myself out of pursuing a fashion related major. I thought that if I had a Fashion Merchandising degree I’d end up as a manager of some failing department store.

So, after placing all of these crazy limitations on myself, I applied to 3, yes only three (literally, I cant…) schools. Got my acceptances, picked the best (worst) option, and I was out. 

The fall semester of my freshman year of college was quite literally the most fun I’ve ever had. I hate to be one of those “cant let college go” people but seriously, you was either there or you wasn’t. And on top of it I was freshly 18? Running the streets of Philadelphia? forget about ittttttt.

But all the fun and friends and bottom shelf liquor came to a halt once spring semester came. I had been having issues with my financial aid that I just assumed would just get resolved because, why wouldn’t they? But they didn’t, and the university essentially told me that I didn’t have to go home, but I had to get the hell out of there! So there I was, 18, one and a half semesters of college under my belt with nothing to show for it, other than the now 20+ thousand dollar debt I owed. 

I want to pause a little to talk about the resentment and frustration that I have dealt with years later surrounding this time in my life. When I would look back I’d think how could I be so stupid? Why would I let myself make such poor financial decisions? But I also genuinely wish I would have had a little more guidance. My family was happy and supportive of me for the most part, and that was great. But I wish there had been someone to tell me to consider all of my options, especially since they all had been through the process before. What the hell does a 16 year old know about student loan debt? It all seems like fake money until you’re staring at the bill in your hands and it’s got your name on it. 

After the whirlwind of chaos that was my first university experience, I did a little bit of everything. I worked, stayed in Philly, got an apartment, took a class or two. But looking back on it, I was lost. And I was worried the door for me to get an education would be closed forever. I was around my friends who were still enrolled at their 4-year universities and it felt like I was losing time I couldn’t get back. So, what do I do? I moved to Florida. I had the intentions of enrolling full time in a university in Jacksonville and well… that didn’t work out either. So I took a couple classes at a community college that I hated and next thing I knew I had been in Florida for 2. whole. years. Talk about time you can’t get back? But I am grateful as my time spent there made me resourceful and independent. 

At the end of last year I decided to move back north. I had no plans or expectations other than to get a job and work as i’d been doing. My higher education journey had been so unfulfilling and disappointing that I was honestly wondering if college would ever happen for me. And if didn’t, what a future without a degree might look like. 

Fast forward to Quarantine™. I had watched as much Netflix as humanly possible, and out of boredom I started to browse the website for my local community college. I remembered my grandmother had told me in passing to check it out months prior, but I brushed it off because again I was like “there’s no way they have a Fashion Merchandising program” but alas….they did and its turns out I’m just annoying. *sigh*

I spent a couple days filling out the enrollment and financial aid applications, but I have to admit I’d really become jaded at this point. After so many let downs you come to just expect things to not work out. Who could blame me? But after putting in my paperwork and checking on it every 3 seconds, not only was it approved but I was granted enough money to cover both semesters free. Nothing out of pocket, no predatory loan I have to pay back, free .99. 

After being out of the game so long I naturally have had my doubts about doing well, but overall the past few weeks have been surreal. From picking up my fashion textbooks at the school bookstore, ordering supplies for projects, being in classes with other like-minded people. I can finally say after almost 6 years I am a Fashion Merchandising student! A true wish fulfillment. 

Now while this is definitely a testament to not giving up, its also a testament to following your passions. Part of me almost thinks that I encountered so many obstacles because I wasn’t doing what I know I really wanted to do. I was settling and forcing myself into spaces I know I didn’t fit. But if I have learned anything through this journey it is that we are given a few good years on this ball of gas we call Earth. There is no time for settling or being rational with our ambitions. And while having to try so many times is discouraging as hell, each “failed” attempt, more often than not, is just a re-direction to land you exactly where you are meant to be. What is for you, will never miss you. 

I hope this pushes you forward. 

Xo,

Girl About Town